So I’m finally 25, probably the latest of all my friends to be, which secretly makes me happy as we grow older and mourn the days of our youth. I can now finally say that all my quarter-life worrying paid off, as this year started off with a bang—failed relationships, family drama, an ailing relative—and it hasn’t even been a month yet! This seriously has me worried for how the rest of the year will turn out.

It was hard to be thankful of anything this Thanksgiving with all this negative energy looming above my head. Let’s just say it’s been a very emotionally charged few weeks, and I’m honestly not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel as they say. Thank God for God. And friends. If anything, these recent hardships have shown me who my friends are—those that stick by me no matter how many stupid decisions I may make, who give up hours/days/weeks of their time just listening to me vent, who tell me that everything will be ok—even if it won’t. For that, I am so grateful. As for God, well, He keeps me standing at the end of the day.

But back to being 25. I just read a very insightful article titled “11 Things to Know at 25(ish)” by Shauna Niequist. Though they don’t all necessarily apply, the ones that do are ones that I’m sure we twenty-fivers are already well aware of. To start with, #1 tells us that you have time to find a job you love. I’ll be the first to admit that I incessantly complain about being at an unsatisfying job. Of course I’m grateful that I even have one in this economy, but to be a little selfish here, I want more out of something that takes up basically my entire life day in and day out. I want to do something I love, something that makes me feel happy and accomplished, something that actually makes me want to get out of bed in the mornings.

”..it takes about 10 years after college to find the right fit, and anyone who finds it earlier than that is just plain lucky. So use every bit of your 10 years: try things, take classes, start over.”

This made me feel a lot more at ease about where I am. I figured by this age I would already know what my path was in life career-wise, but I suppose now I have a few more years to sort all that out.

Number 3 on the list reminds us to don’t rush dating and marriage.

“Some of the most life-shaping decisions you’ll make during this time will be about walking away from good-enough, in search of can’t-live-without.”

It’s easy to stay in a relationship that is just that—easy. But that might not always be the right relationship and it would be unfair on both parties to just drag it along. For me, I’ve always been in search of can’t-live-without. I always thought there would be that one person just for me, the person that I could finally bind my wandering heart to. This person would make me forget about all others and never let me get to the point of searching for that better alternative, because he would be it. I have friends who have found their person. They say though, that there isn’t just one person out there—there could be several. It’s the choices you make in life that determine which one of those several you end up with. Although I can’t tell you what the right answer is, I think it’s different for everyone. One thing I do know is that you can’t rush into a long term commitment in a race to keep up with those around you. Wait for that right person to come along and find you. It’ll happen. It better!

Give your best to friends and family.

“That [boy] you just met and now text 76 times a day probably won’t be a part of your life in 10 years, but the [ones] you lived with in college, if you keep investing in them, will be friends for a lifetime. Lots of people move around in their 20s, but even across the distance, make an effort to invest in the friendships that are important to you.”

This is an all too familiar point Niequist brings up. I’ve seen it happen to a lot of my friends now and I myself, am no stranger to random texts asking if I’m still alive because of my shoddy response time and lack of communication. I’ve recently started to keep up with old college friends and oftentimes try and get together with those from high school as much as possible. I know these relationships grow farther and farther apart the faster we grow up, so it’s imperative to, as Niequist says, invest in the ones important to you. It’s hard to find good people that you can trust and talk to, so for me, you have to hold on to them.

Lastly, and probably most important of the 11 points, don’t get stuck. This is a lot easier said than done, something I’m sure we all can agree with. 

“Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned.”

This is the constant battle I face every day. I always feel like I’m stuck and time just keeps passing me by. People are going places, doing things, getting married, and here I am, stuck. I wish there was a cure-all for people with this problem, but then we wouldn’t be living our lives if everything was just handed to us right? 

My endgame has always been to just be happy. It’s what all my blown eyelashes and tossed coins and birthday candles have all been for. So what the heck am I waiting for, it’s time to LIVE.